Pet Hates (no. 1)

I used to eat all on my plate,
But porridge would stir me to mutiny;
The smell and the texture I hate,
All slobberish, vomitous, gluteny.

11 Responses to “Pet Hates (no. 1)”

  1. Aoife Says:

    It’s such a personal thing porridge. Heath likes his really thick and stodgy and I have to water it down- he thinks mine is too sloppy and glutenous.. I suppose either would make you gag.

  2. recumbentman Says:

    They say such wonderful things about it! Sooo good for you, makes you instantly happy . . . I almost wish I liked it. But if I liked it I would probably be eating it every day, and I couldn’t bear that, cos it’s gack. (Famous fallacy, can’t remember what it’s called now. Probably the porridge fallacy.)

  3. samwell Says:

    i eat the stuff cos it fills me up
    but most of the time i think it’s yuck.

    i don’t think it makes you happy, just full.

  4. malo Says:

    it’s nice and warm. but it’s not the porridge, it’s the raisins you’ll be praisin!

  5. Aoife Says:

    But Dad, you used to make us the BEST porridge in the slow cooker!
    At one stage I had the most elaborate porridge- with yoghurt, soya milk, honey, Udo’s oil and toasted seeds. Very Healthy.
    I was thinking of the Hippy Mush we used to eat, the swiss recipe that you brought back from a viol course. THAT was an elaborate breakfast!

  6. Aoife Says:

    Oh, I probably put raisins in my elaborate porridge too, and I praised them.

  7. willy Says:

    five lines for all under the sun,
    but not for pet hates (no. 1)?
    (which otto adores
    but I too abhor –
    with raisins or not – it’s no fun).

  8. Aoife Says:

    Nice, Willy.
    Your uncle should be proud!

  9. recumbentman Says:

    Of course! Keep them coming!

    Most of my least worst limericks are in OEDILF, the Omnificent English Dictionary In Limerick Form. They wanted to call it ‘The Oxford . . .’ but made the mistake of asking permission.

  10. midoro Says:

    Porridge was the only food that didn’t taste awful when having chemo.

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